This campaign season has got us feelin’ some type of way. So we downloaded the Meitu app, which is basically blowing up the internet rn, and we went a little crazy. Cancel everything, this is what we’re doing from now on, forever.
Outgoing President Barack Obama
Outgoing President of the United States of America, former senator, attorney
Secret anime power: Slam dunks. Also, giving speeches for the youths.
Incoming President Donald J. Trump
Incoming President of the United States of America, businessman, and reality TV star
Secret anime power: Commanding a room. Also that hair flip, tho.
Gov. Rick Scott
Secret anime power: A piercing soul-stealing stare. No words.
Sen. Marco Rubio
U.S. Senator for Florida, former Republican presidential candidate
Secret anime power: Regeneration. Much like a phoenix, who can rise from the ashes strong and a new.
Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
Politician, former chair of the Democratic National Committee
Secret anime power: Hair big enough to hide all of the Democratic party’s secrets – until the meddling of the Russians
Rep. Mario Diaz-Balart
U.S. Representative for South Florida
Secret anime power: Sliding by unnoticed, useful for swapping between the House and Senate and Democratic and Republican parties with ease
Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen
U.S. Representative for South Florida (the first Cuban-American and Latina elected to Congress)
Secret anime power: Superhuman ears, she’s able to tune in to what her constituents are talking about from 1,000 miles away.
Rep. Carlos Curbelo
U.S. Representative for Florida
Secret Anime power: A master of negotiation, navigating between the Republican party and his belief in sea level rise.
Mayor Carlos Gimenez
Miami-Dade County mayor, retired firefighter
Secret Anime power: His signature move is the groundhog, in which he hides for months, only to emerge at exactly the right time
Mayor Tomas Regalado
City of Miami mayor, former broadcast journalist
Secret Anime power: Invisibility. Has not been seen in two terms.
Mayor Philip Levine
City of Miami Beach mayor and businessman
Secret anime power: Repelling vast quantities of water, which should come in handy for sea level rise.
But then of course there are also the unofficial people who run this city…
Musician, rapper, singer, songwriter, dancer, catchphrase king
Secret anime power: Gathering a crowd and with their energies, cultivating a big, burning fireball
DJ, producer, Snapchat personality, and questionable jetskier
Secret anime power: Disseminating keys to success
Singer, dancer, and Miami music queen
Secret anime power: Gets you with her rhythm. No way, you can fight it every day. But no matter what you say, you know it. The rhythm is gonna get you.