As you may or may not know, today is Bad Poetry Day. That means you can take out those old notebooks from your angsty teenage phase and reminisce over all the crap you used to think was so deep and have a hearty laugh at your own expense.
Look how far you’ve come!
But today we pay respect, not to the Maya Angelous and John Keats’ among us, but to those who scrawl crappy poems on napkins and bathroom stalls simply because you have something to say. And it may not be beautiful, but damn it, we all deserve a little love too!
We asked you to give us your best (aka worst) poems about Miami and they POURED in and kept us laughing!
Here are some of our favorite entries.
“I didn’t realize there was such a thing as “good” poetry.
Bad Poetry! Oh Noetry!!”
Of course there was plenty to say about Miami cuisine…which is basically cafecito and croquetas apparently
“Bottles and boats life
But like, I love croquetas
– Tatiana “Tati Chula” Estrada
There was a whole genre dedicated to Miami traffic, it seems.
“Passing from an exit lane
On a rainy stretch
Of I-95. Dale.”
You can not park there
Like maybe during the day but not now
You gonna get towed”
“Stuck in traffic? Breathe
Manatees could have robbed you
See? It could be worse!”
“I love it when you
decide to break suddenly.
The lane is empty.”
And there’s nothing quite like that unpredictable Miami weather…
“Outside, it is raining but I know it will stop.
So I wear my strappy sandals, because they are cute.
On the drive to work, it rains again.
Everything slows down.
I can’t see.
I avoid puddles while walking in from the parking lot,
looking at my toes.”
“Miami, Miamuh, Miameee
Rich People in Fancy Cars
Poor People in Stinky Bars
The Beach is where we are all the same,
Food for Sharks.”
There were so many poetic musings over the artificial voluptuousness of the ladies of the 305.
“Maybe she’s born with
it, (Maybe it’s a new ass
implant for Christmas).”
– Beverly Tan Murray
There was even an ode to the ratchet…
“There he was, guapo,
twerking with me to, “My Neck,
My Back.” We’re now married.”
– Beverly Tan Murray
And some poems just had a little bit of everything about those inexplicable things that makes Miami the Magic City…
“I’ve traveled the world
Through many countries I’ve hurled
But nothing quite matches the feeling
Despite the good food and the stealing
Of when I arrive
In the beloved 305
Humidity drenches me to the bone
And I explode into road rage on the drive home
With the palm trees swaying
And the drunk people too
We have croquetas
And women with nice tetas
Miami can’t be beat
We have the best Cuban food to eat
And if you don’t like it
That’s really too bad.
We ain’t mad.
But as far as we are concerned there was clear winner…
makes my heart beat faster
Honorable mention to @books_pastelitos for GOING IN on this challenge. Don’t worry, we’ve got a great runner up prize for you. 😉
Enjoy Bad Poetry Day, Miami, and remember that poetry is everywhere all you have to do is look.