Miami locals filmmaker Ximena Aliaguilla and comedian Lourdes Duarte (they went to Glades Middle School, so they’re legit) just made a new webseries, by Miami for Miami. And it’s hilarious.
Check it out here. Pero first, be sure to read this glossary so you’re not all like “Wait, what?”
Santería (noun) :
Literally: an Afro-Cuban religion infamous for animal sacrifice
Actually: People in white that you don’t want to fuck with
Pérate (verb):
Literally: Abbreviation for the Spanish “espérate,” meaning “wait”
Actually: Slow the fuck down
Columbus High (proper noun):
An all boys private school in the Cuban-American suburbs (see: Cocaine Cowboys; “beisbol” scholarship)
Donde el diablo perdió el mechero (expression):
Literally: Where the devil lost his lighter
Actually: Far as shit (anything north of Hialeah)
Pa la pinga (expression)
Literally: To the dick
Actually: The original “no fucks left to give”
Ultra Kids (noun)
Overprivileged, Molly-popping, EDM-thumping teenagers who take over Downtown Miami for Spring Break and wreak havoc on traffic and sanity everywhere
Dale (verb?):
Literally: From the Spanish phrase meaning “give it”
Actually: “Get it,” “I’m down,” “Sounds good”
¿Que qué? (interjection)
Literally: “What the what?”
Not to be mistaken with “queque” (cake)
Chupacabra (noun):
A deformed mythical creature known for killing and preying on smaller and weaker animals
Cualquiera (noun):
Literally: A nobody (female)
Actually: A “basic bitch” you actually know nothing about
“En la lucha” (expression)
Spanish for “in the struggle” — as in, it’s real
Pata Sucia (pejorative noun):
Literally: She with the dirty feet
Actually: She who (GASP!) takes her shoes off in public
“ñooo que barato” (expression):
Literally: Spanish for “Damn, that’s cheap!
Actually: A Wal Mart-like chain of Miami discount stores called “Daaamn That’s Cheap!”