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Today's newsletter is supported by Read It Forward.

📚 Reads To Get Your Book Club Talking
Picking a book to stimulate a lively discussion is tricky. Read It Forward has 14 suggestions that are sure to get your book club talking.

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Happy Tuesday *|FNAME|*! 78 percent of you think this weather is fabulous, according to our super scientific Instagram poll.

What we think we look like in our winter gear

It’s winter y’all.

And we kind of don’t know what to do with ourselves. When a cold front hits Miami, are you the one… (Vote below, and we’ll share the equally scientific results on Wednesday.)

  • *|SURVEY: Googling whether your AC unit has a “heat” option?|*
  • *|SURVEY: Wearing all your winter outerwear, all at once?|*
  • *|SURVEY: Trying to use your fireplace, only to realize it was sealed shut two decades ago?|*
  • *|SURVEY: From up north who is making fun of everyone wearing scarves?|*
  • *|SURVEY: Realizing you can’t handle living anywhere other than Miami?|*

🔑 Win the keys to unlock the city you love 🔑

Lunch with Miami’s leading creatives. Yearlong memberships to impressive organizations. VIP access to arts and culture events. Win the keys to unlock the city you love by signing up here or share with a friend to split the goods.


You have a 1 in 200 chance of being related to Genghis Khan. The chances are better that you’ll like this message from our advertiser.

🎭 A Hilarious Evening of Theater!
City Theatre's Winter Shorts (now - DEC 23) features a jolly program of short plays both naughty & nice! Treat yourself, family & friends!

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Want to reach the right people in Miami? Check out our advertising packages.


WHAT'S NEW IN THE 305

PSA. Friday is the last day of open enrollment for health care coverage through the federal exchange, and Florida is once again leading the whole U.S. in enrollment numbers. But enrollees who make too much money to qualify for any financial aid are struggling, big time. (Miami Herald)

Fake news. Turns out that video of Hialeah drag queen Gio Profera getting bitten by an iguana while going to the bathroom was too good to be true – it was actually yet another hoax from the famous viral hoax artist Zardalu. But it’s not all fake news – Florida really does have a problem with iguanas popping up in toilets all over the state. Here’s how they get there. (New York Times, Tampa Bay Times)

You missed the point, boys. The #MeToo movement has men in Tally all kinds of scared, and now they’re doing things like refusing to meet privately with female colleagues. Women working at the Capitol say that they might end up being the ultimate losers as a result. (Miami Herald)

Taking over. Coral Gables is preparing to annex “Little Gables,” an unincorporated neighborhood on the western edge of the city that has remained affordable in our increasingly unaffordable city. Gables Trailer Park has been a big part of that, but there’s no place for trailer parks in The City Beautiful, so Coral Gables is making plans to say buh-bye. (Miami New Times)

“You know y’all goofy AF.” Comedian Hannibal Buress was arrested in Wynwood in the wee hours of Sunday morning, and now we have the deets why. According to the police report, he asked a police officer to call an Uber for him, then got belligerent when they said no, and went back inside. They arrested him for disorderly intoxication, but he was out by 6 a.m. the next morning. (The Root, Miami Herald)

It’s not just rumors. Federal immigration authorities really have ramped up their crackdown on undocumented immigrants since President Trump’s election – arrests in Florida, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands are up 75 percent in 2017. The Miami field office deported 27 percent more people this year than in 2016. (Miami New Times)


On Jupiter and Saturn, it rains diamonds. Thanks to this advertiser for making it rain on your favorite newsletter.

📖 7 Books of Poetry For Non-Poetry Reader
Poetry can sometimes be intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be! Here are seven books of poetry that even non-poetry readers will love.

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EVENTS

PARTNER EVENTS

🎄12/14: The Future – A Miami made. Holiday Celebration (Use code “TNT” for 20% off entry)


Check out this event from our advertiser, Miami Marlins.

⚾️  Ballpark Pass - the Netflix for baseball
The Marlins are spreading holiday cheer with season tickets the millennial way. Score access to all home games in 2018 for $49.99/month.

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Want to reach the right people in Miami? Check out our advertising packages.


AROUND TOWN

🙏 12/13: Namaste and Have a Pint (Wynwood)

🌽 12/13: Inaugural Farmers’ Market at the Yard (Wynwood)

🕎 12/13: Light Up Wynwood: Chanukkah! at the Yard (Wynwood)

🎄 12/13: A Holiday Evening at Vizcaya Village (Coconut Grove)

🚆 12/14: SMART Plan Charette (Florida City)

👧 12/14: Girl Gang Flicks: Sip-N-Series presents Troop Beverly Hills (Wynwood)

🎙️ 12/14: Prism + Ace Present: The Listening Den (Wynwood)

🍺 12/14: Trivia Night with Surfrider Miami (Wynwood)

🎶 12/14- 12/16: Nu Deco at the Light Box (Wynwood)

🎸 12/15: Buskerfest Miami Street Performance Festival 2017 (Downtown)

🎤 12/15: CeeLo Green at Faena Theater (Miami Beach)

🎙️ 12/16: Action on Tap – Live Podcast (Little Haiti)

🕯️ 12/16: Feast of Lights (Wynwood)

🎨 12/16: Wynwood: A History of Street Art (Wynwood)

🎁 12/16: The Nutcracker Presented by Miami City Ballet (Downtown)

THAT’S ALL FOR TODAY.

Pro-tip: Take it easy on the coquito at the holiday parties this week.